Baby Brother
Recently, against my will I have gained a little brother. My 6 year old self would rejoice. My mum has acquired a son and he is wholly unwanted by me, a new emotional and financial burden. Its not that he is a bad person, I actually quite like Mark, however my mum doesn’t know how to behave when there is a man involved and so my life since he has been in it has been a complete nightmare. I am to blame for everything.
Shall we start from the beginning?
15th January,
Mark graduates. I have known him possibly 15 months, and have seen him less than 10 times. My mum attends the ceremony and we go to the Ritz as its my mum’s idea. Who ends up paying for 5 people? Me.
Mothers day.
Complete car crash. She criticizes me from my head to my toes. Timeline. The Tuesday before I book the my mum’s favourite restaurant, I invite graciously my new little brother, he has been living with my mum since December at this point its March. Anyway, I confirm the times for the restaurant (12 noon) with Mark and my mother, both confirm, and Mark drafts a timeline wherein we will go to church as a 3 and then go to the restaurant. I arrive on the Sunday in time for church, and he’s not there, so after changing clothing twice I we go to church (now late) because he isn’t there to drive. Next we come out of church and arrive at 11:55am at the house the booking is still at 12 noon, and I get more criticism and then my new brother still isn’t at home, so my mum brings absolute hell down on my life because I called a taxi before calling him. I do it anyway (I should preface that I was in the most pain I’d ever been in my entire life.) I then get us to the restaurant, Mark shows up at 13:05pm, did I argue? No. Did I make a fuss? No. Did I get another barrage of criticism because I correctly assumed that someone showed up 3 hours late to an event doesn’t want to be there.
Today.
I was asked for my opinion, my mother sided with her new son. I am tired. I have done so much, done a full interview, reviewed applications. All that has been pushed in my face. I am “British” and nothing I do is good enough, so now I don’t care.
Today is a day of apathy.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother-Smith.