Let it change you
Let it change you.
I have listened to Ezra Klein for about 6 months now. He’s fantastic and I don’t need to tell you that. He’s “one of the most influential journalists.” He said something really profound. I don’t know if its genuinely his wisdom. Or having read so many books he’s giving wisdom from a thousand sources. But either way its smart. He was talking about AI.
He said AI was no good because it was taking away “the work” Deep reading, and then writing, was meant to change you. You are meant to “spend…time” with knowledge. You are meant to “build intellectual capital” and talking about the subject matter “spends intellectual capital” I like spending. I also like building…but not as much as the spending. 2 minutes telling someone a story about what I learnt is a dopamine hit. I find it increasingly hard to do it because I am sooo super conscious of not having read enough. Ezra is right. There’s something about knowing you simply haven’t read enough books to be a subject matter expert on the matter, and whilst spending the 10p of intellectual capital is fun, it’s over pretty quickly.
He also mentioned, the bit of Iterative that I didn’t know was tapping into my soul. I want to connect with the writing, I also want to know the bits that no one else is picking up. The bits that connect with my whimsy, or my dark history. Or my humanity. I won’t know until I get there. And I can’t get there without “doing the work” “a good book is meant to change you” apparently, but that can be said of all work. “Doing the work” “Letting it change you” is the key to the lock I didn’t know I was forcing. I have been living in the future recently, I am unhappy with the present (state of my body…) and the thing about it is…I need to do the work, because “doing the work” will change me. And then I will have the reality I want (thin, feel more solid/feel stronger, more competent and braver) not because of my job and my achievements there. But because I have put in the work on myself and its paid off and I can prove to myself I won’t let myself down again. Then I basically become a different person. (i.e a person with abs. Maybe not in the 6-month timeframe, but definitely in 1 year. 35 needs to meet me with abs. flat stomach.) I have given up on making promises to myself. I want to believe in myself because “myself” has a track record of consistency… but there have been too many let downs. I would like to get to a place where I don’t let myself down. I always “rise to the occasion” in advocating for myself. I’d prefer to “fall to my standards” in terms of my body, mind and spirit and have my standards high.
What I really want is for “the work” to change me.
Grace and Courage.
Annetta Mother Smith.